Easy come, Easy Go

Image via WikipediaLet's rewind, because honestly - it's been a while.

Back in October I had a missed miscarriage.  Then in December I had surgery for cervical dysplasia.  Shortly after surgery (obviously of course well past the 'no sex' date) hubby and I finally had sex (hey - for those of you who don't know, after a d&c it's 3-4 weeks no sex, then after the cervical biopsy and conization it's another 2-3) - so when I say finally, I mean finally.  And apparently getting pregnant isn't my problem, because I got a positive pregnancy test the second week of January.  GREAT news, or, maybe not so much. I went to the doctor at 6 weeks for a weird feeling, and during the u/s he saw the sac, no baby.  At 6 weeks there is like a 50% chance of seeing it. So I waited until 8 - when clearly no baby had grown or formed yet.  So  after some blood work it was decided it was a blighted ovum (which my first one was diagnosed as well that way) and off to get a suction D&C so that they doc could send samples away from chromosomal testing.

So what all does that really mean? Nothing.  Nothing useful anyhow. The test will take 3-4 weeks to come back and might reveal absolutely nothing.  Depending on the results, the doctor has a few more tests he'd like to try.



Where that leaves hubby and I? Lost.  If nothing can be determined after testing (and I don't just mean one or two tests) - then we're done trying. As much as I try and convince myself all is well - it's not. So that leaves us basically to consider adoption if we're done trying.  And while I have no problems with adoption - Im not exactly sitting on a spare $25,000. So if private adoption isn't an option, we will be saving for quite a while.

It seems as though I've spent basically the last 5-6 of the last 8 months pregnant - I am using this break to get myself back to normal and get my life back to some state of normal. I've gained 10lbs that I worked so hard to lose before the second pregnant (though I don't regret the gain) - so that's my first focus. Getting my health back on track. So I'm back... :)