Monday, September 2, 2019

Do you let her run?

When you have a runner, do you let her run? Do you chase after her? Do you hop in your car and following along until she comes to her wits end and comes home?

All of these are things I texted my friend after my daughter's explosive fit today left me with my shoes on, waiting for her to take off. And whens he did, I went running after her.  She's faster than me, I'm out of shape. My blood pressure was through the roof before I went, but I went. And she greeted me kicking and hitting.

I'm tired, I'm physically in pain from her.  I hit my breaking point today. I asked for part time status at work so I can try and sort out everything. Between getting her to appointments and lessening the anxiety I have being in this house with her. Or the panic attacks I sometimes have before I even GO HOME because I anticipate her explosion before I've walked through the door. Because it happens far too often.

This is a broken momma, who has run out of steam.

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