Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Thanks for being an asshole.. I mean it.

In order to move forward, I suppose that means you have to let go of some things I'm angry and resentful about. So thanks to Plinky I have decided to write a letter to not just one person, but a handful of folks from high school.

Dear classmates(you know who you are):

I want to thank you for so many things. If you weren't who you were for the worst four yeras of my life, I wouldn't be who I am now.  The first thing I want to do is thank you for being superficial.  I can now appreciate the fact that you wouldn't speak to me on days I wore jeans, but only on days I was dressed in a skirt or khakis so that I fit your mold.  I had no idea back then how much I would appreciate learning early how judgemental people could be. You're right - my parents weren't doctors and lawyers like yours, but they wanted better for me than they had - which is what they were trying to do by sending me to your awful school.  I'm sorry I didn't go there for elementry and middle school, so you never had a chance to hate me for all 12 years, and I would never fit into your high school cliques, but that's the way life goes. 


Secondly, I want to thank you specifically, Mr. Senior Football player for actually treating me like I was human.  I know you were out of my league, but you never made me feel like the loser that I actually was - and I will always remember that.  You actually moved and live in my area now - and I see you pretty often at Target.  I'll never say hello, just like I didn't back then. I'll just look at you smile and blush and quickly look away. Somethings never change, and you will always be that unattainable guy I was so into!

As for you, Mr. Big-shot Military guy - thank you for being the worlds worst boyfriend. I didn't know someone like you existed.  I knew about physically abusive relationships when I started dating you - and you promised me you'd protect me from all those types of people and never hurt me.  So much for that.  I don't think you realized that emotional abuse is that much harder because no one sees it happening and I had to suffer alone.  You were mr. wonderful among your friends, and I was SO 'lucky' to be your girlfriend that I didn't dare speak up and say anything.  When I finally slipped out of your grip and moved on to my now, husband - I was quickly taught how I should be treated - and I need to thank you for that.  I wouldn't have known what I deserved and what I needed if I hadn't experienced the awful!  


Thanks for the memories, 


x

High school was such an experience that while I look back with dread, and have very, very limited positive memories from it - there were plenty of good things. I met my husband and I was fortunate enough to have his support during my time there. I made a handful of good friends - that while we aren't friends any longer, that doesn't mean I don't appreciate their friendship any less. People grow and change and drift away - but they were amazing. I had two awesome teachers who really opened my eyes to my career choice and helped me see what I need. 

I learned how to be strong and how to get out of two abusive relationships. I learned how people can be when they just judge you based on looks.  I learned that the upperclassman who only dates younger girls does it for a reason - he's a loser. I learned how to mend broken friendships and I learned the value of a friendship.

These are all things I want to take with me and will use the rest of my life. I'll never stand by for an abusive relationship and I'll speak up for someone I see it happening to.  I will learn to value the good friends and focus on a few who mean the most to me rather than see how many people I can surround myself with.

Starting 2011 these are all things I needed to remind myself of because it's so easy to get wrapped up in the daily routine that I forget the big picture in life!

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