In August I got pregnant finally and it was perfect. Perfect timing (I'd be off all summer with the baby) and things just felt right. I went in for my ultrasound for 8 weeks, perfect heartbeat. I went in at 11 weeks because something didn't seem right and I just had to see that hb again. I went in, and instantly saw on the screen the baby had shrunk and there was no hb any longer. So the doctor determined I had a missed m/c at 9 weeks. Oct 21 I had a d&c. .
I go in two weeks later in hopes of hearing, "start trying in two cycles", but no, instead I heard "We need to do a biopsy". I always turn up an abnormal pap. I don't know why. I've never had a normal one yet. My first biopsy was about 8 years ago. No doctor ever ordered one again, I guess not enough need.
So I wait a week, call in for my results and then hear, "you have moderate to severe cervical dysplasia, we need to do surgery". REALLY? I needed one more thing to add to my list of problems? I'm running out of steam.
I'm tired of hearing, this happens all the time. This is common, you'll be fine. I know people say that because they don't really know what else to say but frankly I don't care how normal or common it is. I don't care how long so-and-so took to conceive, I realize it's not an easy process for everyone but stop making it seem like I just got a little ice cream on my shirt and we'll clean it off and move on in life. It's not like that. I know people mean well, and that's why I never say anything when I get the 'it happens so much', because I know they don't know what to say and they don't know how to deal with it. It's like this huge elephant in the room and everyone is tiptoeing around trying not to approach it.
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